My Tinder Experience
Let's face it dating is hard, unless you enjoy the bar and club scene it's nearly impossible to meet anyone. After I decided to end my almost 6 year relationship, I found myself stuck looking for ways to get myself back in the game. I am not a fan of drinking or being around people that are drunk and dating anyone that I met at work was just never going to happen, so I decided to try Tinder.
Many people believe that Tinder is just a way for singles to hook up. However, I am here to tell you that the dating application is what you make of it. It is possible to find people in your area on this online dating application looking for a relationship, you just may have to look a little harder and weed through some bad apples first. There is no way that you are going to be able to completely avoid messages from other singles asking for a hookup or matching with people that are only interested in a physical relationship. This is not something that is unique to Tinder alone, in fact even if you are trying to find a relationship the old fashioned way, you are going to be faced with the hassle of weeding out those that are only down for a good time. The way our society is today, most people are getting married at an older age, men and women are more interested in keeping things casual, and most people are only looking for a hook up. Although a lot of people today are only looking for a fling, it is possible to find the love of your life and a successful relationship through online dating applications. My husband and I are living proof that as long as you put in the time and effort, its possible to find your happy ending and significant other through a dating application.
Now if you are afraid of using a dating application because you think others will look down upon you or think of you differently, stop caring what others think so much. I know this can be hard but in all honesty there is always going to be someone who judges others and puts a stigma on using dating applications. I never thought that I would have to use Tinder to find a relationship, and I have to admit I was terrified of the thought of having to get dating help. I was looked down upon by family members, friends, and my ex boyfriend for using the dating application, but I am here to say that it is not something that others should judge you for. Tinder and online dating applications are pretty much the only way to get into the dating scene today. Ninety percent of the people I know use dating applications to match with other singles and most use more than one dating app to increase their chances of finding a significant other. This is just the way the dating world is trending right now and in order to survive you have to learn to adapt. I may have had some people that judged me and put me down for using Tinder at first, but I found my husband through the dating application. Let me just say that I am able to now laugh at others that originally laughed at me when I signed up for Tinder.
The app its self is very user friendly and at times can feel like you are playing a game. It was fun to scroll through pictures and profiles of singles in my area and even more comical when I would come across someone I knew (including coworkers, friends, and even the guy that lived in the apartment below me). I feel like the whole process of matching with others based on a couple of pictures and sentences about interests helped boost my self esteem. The app makes it easier for singles to pursue one another by taking away the pressure of having to approach someone in public.
Here are some important do's and don'ts I recommend for all Tinder users:
1. Do take the time to read through a users' profile rather than just swiping left or right based on profile pictures. I learned the hard way that most people on the app are only looking to hook up and will actually broadcast it on their profile.
2. Don't be afraid to be the first person to start a conversation. It is extremely easy to remove a match on the app if you think it is a bad fit, you have nothing to lose by being the first to initiate contact.
3. Do stay safe and make sure to meet up in public places or go on a group date rather than giving out your address or meeting at an unknown location.
I ended up actually meeting up with four of my Tinder matches over the two and a half months that I used the app. The first match and I got along very well. He was a respiratory therapy student and me being an RN, we never had a lapse in conversation. He took me to my first ever hockey game and we would hang out at his apartment studying for his RT exams. However, he decided that he was not ready for a relationship and that he needed to focus on school, so we went our separate ways. The next match really only wanted a physical relationship, we never went on a date, and never had a meaningful conversation. He even had the nerve to ask me if I could find friends to bring over to his place for a three some! The third match and I went on one and only one date. He was a nice enough guy but way too honest. Not only was he a lot shorter than me but he also did not look anything like his profile pictures and divulged to me that he used to have a drug addiction. After these failed matches I was about to give up on the dating scene and considered getting back with my ex boyfriend many times, however on the first of January I decided to give it one last shot as a new years resolution.
On January 1, 2016, I began talking to someone that I had matched with, a couple days later we went on our first date, and ever since that first date we have been inseparable. July of 2016 we became engaged, and June 24, 2017, we became man and wife. Here is a couple of pictures of us and our relationship throughout the years:
Overall my Tinder experiences were not horrible and had it not been for this app, my husband and I might not have ever met. If you are struggling with the decision to join a dating app I encourage you to give it a try. If tinder isn't your thing then maybe give these apps in this article a try :
To read more on my husband and I's first date, stay tuned for my next blog posting.